Giving Up? Giving In?

Over the last three years, I’ve amassed an extraordinary amount of baby stuff. When we decided to start trying or rather when we were thinking about trying, our friends who already had kids became incredibly excited. They piled us up with a few hand me downs and we were grateful. Especially considering three years ago we were in a very different place financially. More and more friends began having garage sales and getting rid of their baby swag, much of it landing in our arms with no money exchanging hands.

I made the joke a few times “I feel like this will jinx us.”

All our veteran parents simply laughed and responded ‘Take the free gear, trust us!”

We did, happily.

But, after looking at this pile*


through two years of disappointment, I’ve decided it has to go.

As much as I would love to have a garage sale myself …

It has to leave my house today. I’m done with it.

I don’t know what this means for us and how we will continue to try and quite frankly it’s none of your business. I know that’s a strange thing to say when you’re writing a blog but as far as our sex life is concerned, it’s ours. Adoption is a thing we talk about, but won’t be happening anytime soon. If you’re wondering why, you can read this, I think it sums it up nicely.

We have other things happening in our life right now. Things like the never ending home remodel, a car that’s on its last leg, a fridge that’s making strange noises, new and exciting work ventures and hobbies.  I would like to tell you it’s enough to keep me distracted from not having that third person who is missing from our dinner table.

It’s not.

All I know is that I can no longer stare at onesies and baby swings, pacifiers and breast pumps.**


*No the pile has not been in my living room for three years.

**yes I actually found a breast pump, can you believe that?