Sort of a repeat on marriage.

Saturday our friends Jonny and Kristin will begin their life as husband and wife with a beautiful out door ceremony and reception. Cary and I will be running a 5k in Indy that morning. Not just any 5k, The Color Run. We’re hoping all of the color will come out in the shower but we have to drive back up from Indy to make it to their wedding and we’d rather be there on time than look pretty. So please pardon the rainbow of colors that might be in my hair.

We’ve had many talks with them about marriage, but I wanted to honor them on my blog. So, I’m reposting the blog I wrote for my friend Julia when she got married. It’s applicable, you can change your names for it to fit you. It might seem like I’m being lazy, but really, THIS is marriage!


Due to the fact that you’re an amazing writer and have been so poignant in your advice to me in the past I wanted to give you a gift in kind and explain the beauty of marriage.  To give you a hint into what you will soon embark upon.

So I stared blankly at my screen for about an hour and a half. I thought, “I should tell her how dependence upon each other is so important even when you don’t want to do it, you should.”

This brought to mind a story that happened before I found out about my gluten intolerance.  I passed out in the bathroom.  Cary heard me hit the tub and came running to my aid like a knight in shining armor.  When I awoke I had no strength to move but knew that if I didn’t get on a toilet soon, we’d both be in trouble.

So he picked me up and held me on the toilet while I evacuated my bowels until they were purged (which is the nice way of saying “I crapped like a MOTHA!”).  In the middle of the “evacuation” I reached back and flushed the toilet as a courtesy.  Cary said “THANK YOU” and in that moment I realized you have to depend on each other! I depended on him to keep me on the toilet and he depended on me to courteously flush so he wouldn’t in turn, pass out.  You see? It’s reciprocal!

So at this point I realized I’m not a writer and I will never be able to be as eloquent and well…not gross…as you are.  I’m more of a TMI tell it like it is kind of girl.  So here it is:

If he’s not your best friend now, he will be soon.

You’ll learn to laugh at things you never thought you could. You’ll argue about things you never thought you would.  Then hopefully you’ll laugh about that too.

Enjoying each other comes naturally in the beginning but it may be harder later on.  Work at it because it’s worth it.  It might be more difficult but it’s WORTH IT!

Get a king sized bed!  Don’t listen to people who say “You’ll get used to a queen”.  Those people have never slept in a king!  You’ll sleep better, and on Sunday mornings Bella (and your future children) can run in and snuggle and you can all read the paper together.  Also sick kids fit better in a king size bed when they don’t want to sleep in theirs!  Can you tell we LOVE our king size bed??

Do “IT” even when you don’t want to or think you’re too tired.  Once it’s over, you’ll be glad you did.

Marriage is AWESOME!  Those who say it isn’t just weren’t good at it and had no desire to try and BECOME good at it.

I love you Jules!  I’m ecstatic for you to finally start this part of your life with the man of your dreams.  Life is beautiful and now you have someone beautiful to enjoy it with!

Sorry about the poop story!



Jonny and Kristin, enjoy your wedding because it’s over in an eye-blink. But that’s OK because as much as it feels like the happiest day of your life, it’s only the beginning of MANY happy days.


1 Comment (+add yours?)

  1. Dianne Carpenter
    Jul 26, 2012 @ 21:44:31

    As I sit here reading, I wonder if I would add anything after 45 years of marriage… I don’t think so.. you have hit on the important parts as you start out… the rest you will figure out along the way. Don’t be scared when you get to a point where you wonder if you made a mistake… there were many times I have said (in my head): I want to live with you the rest of my life, it’s the next five minutes I am having a hard time… and really, it was usually only five minutes. oh, one more: many, many times after my telling Bob something I didn’t like, he would say “you knew I was a bum when you married me” It was years until I got it.


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